Love Parallelogram

WARNING: this blog contains saltiness, rants and emotional vomit that needed to be expelled.

Warren and I were recently scrolling through my old pictures on Facebook when he noticed a photo with a girl's head partially cropped out of the frame. He asked me why she wasn't in the frame. I explained to him that she is just one of those people who I've never gotten along with and probably never will. Warren has known me for seven years so he knows that coming from me that statement carries some weight and there has to be an awesome back story. So again, I am repeatedly asked how I can not get along with such a sweet, artistic, loving, hippy girl? We should be made for one another right? Sadly, when two people are too similar, one HAS to be better than the other, attest the lesser of the two people. Thus begins all epic rivalries: Tom & Jerry, Darth Vader & Han Solo, Rosie O'Donnal & Donald Trump, Porsha & Kenya, Celeste & Melody.

I stumbled into my own personal rivalry in the most made-for-reality-tv way possible…
While I was selling timeshares in Belize, a handsome coworker offered to go kayaking with me after work. I LOVE water sports so I eagerly accepted his invitation. He wanted to go as soon as our workday ended so we could make it back before the sun started to set. I wouldn't have time to go home a get a swimsuit so I had to wear a pair of his boxer briefs. I felt so awkward just being in his apartment wearing his underwear, when I had just met him a couple days prior. Somehow I needed to make it out of the condo and fifty yards to the shore without embarrassing myself too badly. Oddly, the boxer briefs fit me well so I decided to rock it and own the look. I gathered my courage and stepped into the 4pm sunlight. I made it about 10 yards when a girl in a long white summer dress and matching white Kentucky Derby hat intercepted us. She was tall and strikingly beautiful, from a distance. I wondered where she was headed on a Tuesday afternoon, this far from town, all dressed up? My coworker told me to continue on to the water and he'll catch up to me. I asked awkwardly, in his boxer briefs, "am I interrupting something?" He assured me I wasn't. I continued on and looked behind me to see the two attractive people exchange a long embrace, then the beautiful young lady turned around and started walking back in the direction of town. So here in these boxer briefs, with a 60 pound canoe on my back, in Central-America I had stumbled into the most drawn-out catty rivalry one would love to see televised. At times I even had to step back and appreciate the cliche story line as it played out. I won't go into details but heres the Reader's Digest version:

Melody and Kyle were in a mutually beneficial casual relationship. Kyle needed a convenience, "something to do." Melody needed to make her on-again/off-again boyfriend Glenn jealous. Although Melody was just romancing Kyle to win back Glenn's affection, she began pressuring Kyle to upgrade her status from "casual" to "committed," upon sensing competition. I am not a competitive person, hence I am bad at sports, hence I opted to not spend anymore "alone time" with Kyle. After several weeks Melody's strategy had payed off and Glenn agreed to take her back. Kyle and I resumed kayaking after workdays. Once our time in Belize was up and we both moved back to the US, we began an arduous long-distance relationship. Kyle and I finally called it quits on our little relationship when I found an email on his computer where Melody was offering a "week-long sexscapade in Mexico" while Glenn was away working in Canada.

So, to this day, Melody will swear on her son's life that I "stole" her "boyfriend." I did no such thing. In fact, this was on of the many rumors I had to overcome in addition to enduring her cocktail-throwing rages. Looking back on this life experience as an older, slightly wiser version of myself, I wish that I would have bought my own damn canoe.

Melody, Kyle and Abbi at Sweet Basil

Barracuda Bikini

To this day people still ask me how my business Barracuda Bikini is doing and why I haven't released any new designs in the last three years. They are always shocked when I tell them that I am no longer associated with the company. I tell people that I "sold it" because the truth is so much uglier and more difficult to explain. So here is the skinny on how it all went down:

I started making swimsuits eight years ago when I couldn't find any flattering suits on the market.
I registered the domain name barracudabikini.com five years ago.
I started a Facebook page and started making custom swimsuits that same year.
I met a business man who shared a similar interest in building a clothing brand. He said that I could continue working on the designs, while he would focus on marketing and manufacturing. However, I continued manage the bulk of the promotional work.
A year later he registered Barracuda Bikini as a sole proprietorship, as oppose to a dual partnership, without my consent.
He also booked a photo shoot in Belize without my consent. I had to work very hard to coordinate this photo shoot. I also had to make the swimwear that the models would be wearing and would be given as compensation. I did not agree to this second photo shoot in Belize because we did not have funds, nor did we have an actual product to market since he had not made good on his promise to bring the suits into manufacturing.
As our friends, finances and personal live began to intertwine my business partner developed a crush on  me, despite being thirteen years my senior. I told him that I had no interest in a romantic relationship and if we were unable to move forward as platonic friends, then we should part ways. He agreed to remain my friend and business partner.
Two months later I began dating a guy my own age. He told me that he did not want to be associated with me if I was in a relationship with someone else. We agreed to part ways. He hacked into all my email and social media accounts and blocked me as an administrator from all the Barracuda Bikini accounts that I created and maintained for years. He contacted all my business contacts and mutual friends and told them that he didn't understand why I was breaking up our friendship and abandoning the business.
To this day I still own barracudabikini.com. However, since he owns the rights to do business under this name and he racked up substantial debt under this business name, I had no choice but to walk away from my brand.

I continue to design and I have big things in the works that I would love to share with my supporters. Consequently, I am cautious about sharing about my upcoming projects because of this experience. All that I can promise is that Barracuda Bikini is the tip of the iceberg, its an example of what I was able to accomplish when all the factors were working against me.


#barracudabikini barracudabikini.net