Wednesday, July 2, 2014

I Just Love Football Soooo Much!

This is an old email that I began writing at 3am on a sunday night in a drunken stupor. I was so emotional and tried to make sense of the events by writing. It did help calm my nerves, but the next day the text was illegible and almost unrecognizable. this is a sober revisit of the night that I met my celebrity brush and made drunken fool of myself.

This morning awoke to the sound of the rain bidder-pattering on the skylights and frogs chirping outside. I felt so peaceful and happy to start a productive day. I got off  of my friend's couch and headed for the upstairs bathroom. After merging into the wall, I made it to the stair case. I reached for both railings and proceeded to limp my way up the stairs. As blood began circulating throughout my dehydrated body to finally make its way to my brain, the memories of last night came back one by one...

My smokin' hot Bulgarian friend Eva and I started our Sunday at 3pm by sharing half of a Papa John's five cheese pizza. We then began to do our hair and make up, a very elaborate two hour process. At 5pm we were ready to take on what little was left of the day. There was a party costume called "Guest House" in down town San Diego that wouldn't end until 7pm. We love dressing up in ridiculous outfits, and so thought it would be fun to stop by that party then have a quiet dinner in the gay part of town where Eva lives.

We zipped up our matching thigh high boots and headed to the part of Hillcrest where taxis are readily available. As we walked by all the gay bars the men kept staring at us. We couldn't determine whether it was because we looked so hot or if they were trying to figure out if we were trannys.

As we stepped out of the taxi we saw that everyone in line was wearing jeans and t-shirts and felt a little uneasy. A gorgeous guy walked by and said "hey you girls want to avoid the cover an come in with us." We smiled and proceeded in with his group. He was so handsome, just like Thor, 6'4", long blond hair, piercing blue eyes and a muscular build. We stepped inside and were taken back by all the lasers, LEDs and gorgeous people everywhere: on the walls, on the tables, on the couches, everywhere. We saw a group of girls run past us dressed as unicorns with rhinestone pasties and tinsel tails. At the moment we decided that we were no longer over-dressed. My friend Aaron had a table and invited us to hang out with him. We were dancing on the platform above his table. We had a great view to scope out all the hot guys.
I said "wow, that black guy is very good looking."
Eva agreed, "yes, I not into black guys but they can be extremely attractive."
me- "I know, like Shun T or Vincent Jackson."
Eva-"no, I dont know this Vincent Jackson."
me-"The football player that I'm always talking about."
Eva-"Yes but I don't know what he looks like."
me-"Okay, remind me to show you a picture of him later."
We continues dancing, since I DJ I knew all the songs word for word and I could help but sing along. They were a little newer for the crowd so I kinda looked like a idiot singing along so passionately by myself. Thor stopped by and I looked at him and asked "have you ever been to Belize?" He looked puzzled, but replied "yes." I said, I think I met you four years ago a Fido's Bar in Belize." Thor's eye lit up, he gave me a hug and then walked away. We continued dancing and drinking our IPAs. The club was closing and the next party didn't start for another two hours so we started making dinner plans with Aaron and his friends. As we were headed out the door Thor invited us to dinner with his friends so we opted to go with Thor because I was trilled about having a brief history with him and when I met him in Belize I tried to envision what an awesome person he is back in San Diego.

On the walk to dinner Thor kept fishing for compliment and giving me dirty looks when I responded with undesirable answers. When we got to the restaurant some drunk guy got in Thor's face and started yelling at him saying "YOU CANT TAKE ME! YOU WILL NEVER WIN, NEVER, NEEEEVER, NEVER!!!" Thor pushed the guy across the restaurant. At that point my buzz began to instantly fade. I ordered two Hefenwizens for Eva and I before we sat down to eat with the others. Thor kept saying off flavor things and making obscene gestures at Eva. Finally she responded "Hey, hey. Can I ask you a serious question?" The whole table stopped to listen. "Does that help you get ass?" Everyone laughed hysterically. Somehow we ended up at Thor's place doing the girls' hair and makeup so they could look sluttier for next party. On the cab ride back to the Gaslamp District Thor haggled and bickered with the cab driver the entire way back to the Gaslamp district.

As soon as we got to F6 we jumped out of the cab and went our separate ways. We went to Side Bar because Sweedish House Mafia was going to preform later in the night. It was 10pm and the club was at half capacity, when we finished ordering our first round the club was packed. We ran into Aron. He said that he had just broken his 35 day sobriety, we told him "Awesome!! Let celebrate." Aron started ordering rounds of shots. Eva stole two mega glow sticks from a vip table and we began dancing like coked-up amateur gogos. Aron said that he going to F6 and invited us to tag along.

Aron ordered a few more rounds of shots at F6. We were having a good time and the "celebrating" was starting to really hit me. Aron said he was going back to Sidebar so I made my way to the bar to get Eva and my purse. As I stumbled for the door my forhead made contact with some very impressive pectoral muscle. I looked up saw the face of an angle smiling at me, it was him, Mr 83 himself, Vincent Jackson. It took me a second to process it, I said "wait, shouldn't you be at a game today?? Oh, that was like eight hours ago." He just smiled at me and took a spot at the bar next to Eva. Aaron asked me if I was ready to go. I said, with my filter disappearing by the second "Look, I want to chill here. This guy is my all time favorite, I swear I'm not going to be a groupie and f*ck him, I know that hes married." Aron just chuckled at me like 'ya right' and headed for the door. I headed back to Eva and VJ at the bar, I said Eva "This is Vincent Jackson, remember? We were talking about who the hottest black guys are earlier??" Eva blankly responded in her Slavic accent "I have no idea who this man is." Time seemed to laspe and I just remember his antorage accussed me of being a groupy because I was stone drunk and dressed like a whore. I left the bar balling "I just love football sooo much. I'm not a whore, I just love football." And this continued for several hours well into the night.

Th next morning I asked Eva if I cocked blocked Vincent Jackson. Since she is Slavik she has a much higher tolerance for Vodka than I do and could recall the later part of the evening with much more detail than I could. According to Eva he kept following me around, and I cried in the cab the entire way home about how much I love football.

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