Piece of Meat

My experiences with steaks have always been hit or miss. Sometimes I get cheap little Denny's t-bones that are tender and juicy. Other times I get fancy/expensive steakhouse cuts that are tough and hard. It seems like its always based on chance whether or not I get a good steak. So I've finally decided to educate myself on what make a good steak, a good steak.

A couple weeks ago I went into Valley Farms Market looking for a good cut of steak, I was quite clueless. I know that more fat equals more flavor but after that all the cuts look the same to me. I couldn't figure out why one was 8.99/pound and an identical one was 13.99/pound. The butcher asked me if I needed help and I told him that I was trying to pick out a good steak for grilling but I didn't know a thing about steak. Of course he recommended the most expensive one, the porter house. He also recommended that I get two pounds.  He said that in addition to the nice marbelization, the marrow from the bone adds flavor.  When I saw that the price came out to thirty-five dollars I felt a little bamboozled. I was wary to not ruin thirty-five dollars worth of meat so I went home and carefully followed all of the butcher's instructions: "let the meat thaw to room temperature for forty-five minutes, lightly coat with olive oil and lightly sprinkle Montreal seasoning, grill on medium-high heat for seven minutes on each side, and then allow it to turn over for another seven minutes. What ever you do, don't close the grill." I did just as he instructed and it was well worth the extra cost. It was the tenderest, juiciest tastiest steak I've ever tasted!

Today I went back to Valley Farms and I asked the butcher what the difference is between a standard t-bone and a porter house t-bone. He said that the smaller side of the t-bone is the filet mignon, so since the porter house is cut near the center it has a much larger area of filet mignon. The difference became obvious, because I do remember the smaller side being my favorite part. He added that if I go to a fancy steak house and order a porter house they will give me a much larger porter house from a Texas Longhorn Steer. He added that his steaks were much better because they are cut from a smaller more stocky cow, an Omaha Angus. He said that Omaha Angus coined the original term "butterball," because of their stocky build and buttery taste. Also if I drive though the country I will see them lying down on their left sides. Since they use their right side to get up, the meat from the left side is much more tender.

So now I can't wait to go to a fancy steakhouse and order a porter house steak. I'll ask if it's from a Texas Longhorn or an Omaha Angus and whether the cute is from the right or left side. I'll sound so smart!

[I also found this very straight forward website that breaks it all down in lame men terms. It even includes how each piece should be seasoned and cooked! Steak Definitions ]

Grimmly Ever After

I've been reading the Grimm Brother's versions of fairy tales and I think I've figured out why my generation is so messed up. Our expectations are a little too high. Original versions of fairy tales typically feature women in competition for patriarchal approval, whether they be wicked step-sister, or evil step-mothers. Many of these tales were collected though the Grimm Brothers works in linguistics and published in 1860. The Grimm Brothers went into village pubs around Germany and compiled these tales, many were refined to communicate important life's lessons for a girls living during that era. Disney took it a step further and made the prince the fulfillment of a young peasant girl's dreams. Disney also left out vital elements of sexuality, unwanted pregnancies, death and abuse that are typical in the Grimm versions of these tales.

Snow White
Contrary to Disney's Prince who wakes Snow White with "true loves kiss," the original prince bumps Snow White's crystal coffin on stone causing her to regurgitate the poison apple lodged in her throat. Furthermore, at first the dwarfs refused to let the prince purchase Snow White because he intended to keep her as his "most prized possession."

The Little Mermaid
After allowing the sea witch to cut out her tongue, the little mermaid had to either marry the price or die. He married someone else and she died. Her consolation was to become a cloud for 300 years. The prince often referred to her as "my dumb foundling."

Beauty and the Beast
Similar to the Disney version, the beast begs Bell to marry her day in and day out, but she refuses because he is an animal. When the Beast nearly dies, Bell realizes that not only does she pity the beast, she values his friendship and platonic love.  He turns into a handsome prince and the good fairy notes that since Bell was able to see past looks, their marriage is based on virtue, hence it will be long, happy and fulfilling. The story is intended to teach young girls that are entering arranged marriages that if they submit to their less than desirable husbands, they will be rewarded.


Cinderella
The Grimm version is much like the Disney version except the step sisters cut of their toes and heals to fit into the gold slipper, plus their eyes are later pecked out by doves.


The Grimm Brother fairy tales can be traced back to earlier versions that make no to reference to a charming prince. For example, Snow White is based on the 1620 Italian Renaissance classic The Young Slave. The young slave Lisa is very outspoken and suicidal rather than passive and useful around the house. Beauty and the Beast is based on the Greek Mythology of Cupid and his wife Psyche. Psyche attempts to kill cupid after being ill-advised by her envious sisters. In the original Cinderella tale a young princess consults her fairy godmother on how to avoid marring her grief-stricken father.

Rather than waiting on guys to fulfill silly girl-hood Disney fantasies, we should teach girls to find their own happiness via accomplishment and self-fulfillment. Then they can pick out a "prince" to share their happiness with.

Forgive and Forget?

This blog goes under the TMI/rant category:)

Lately I've been confronted with the subject of forgiveness. I recently received the worst apology of my life! The ultimatum apology. I didn't even know that such a thing was even possible! "Okay, I apologize. I want to move forward from this, but I need to know right now whether you forgive me or not." It sparked the demon in me and resurfaced all the other crap apologies I've come in contact with. Dictionary.com defines forgiveness as: to grant pardon for or remission. It also defines apology as: a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another. I'm pretty good at day to day forgiveness for things like "sorry that I flaked" or "opps, I bumped your car" but when it comes to crappy apologies for major/repeated offenses, I find forgiveness to be one of the hardest thing to do. I've heard the term "forgive and forget" countless times, but who's idea was that? In Sunday school I recall Jesus teaching about forgiveness but I don't recall him ever saying anything about forgetting. Here are some questions that I have on the subject of forgiveness.

*Should I forgive someone even if they never apologized?

Example: If you read my Haunted Beach House blog then you know that my brother recently passed away and we didn't end on good terms. He stole from me as I struggled to support the two of us. A week before I moved back to the US I attempted to clear the air in our relationship.  He turned everything around on me and accused me of being a malicious person. He died six months later. So...he never apologized, am I'm still obligated to forgive? [The petty thievery wasn't the problem, they way that he turned the situation against me is what took me for a loop.]

*Should I accept an apology that lacks responsibility and accountability?

Example: One day I awoke to this in my inbox:
"Hi we don't have to be friends or anything but I am doing a lot of soul searching. I did know at the time you and kyle were an item.... and you had every right to be upset. My apologies." This apology was for asking my boyfriend to meet her in Mexico for a weekend of  sex while her boyfriend was in Canada with his dieing father. [Maybe I'm just stubborn, but I took this casual apology as an insult.]

*And what about the reoccurring apology? 

I can forgive people that are within my circle of trust fairly easily but when it comes to people that I am forced to experience life with I find the act to be more difficult, especially for repeated offenses. Every time that an apology is in order trust has been broken. The forgiveness may come easier, but the trust takes time and conscious effort to restore.  

I've been taught that I should forgive for my own sake, to prevent harboring resentment, but in extreme cases I find it easier to just exchange resentment for indifference. Any thoughts?

San Pedro's BEST according to Celeste

I have a reputation for working out a lot. Most would assume that I'm a fitness/health nut, actually I just love food. I burn excess calories just so I can eat more. I'm constantly researching new recipes, trying new dishes and eating out. One thing that I definitely look forward when I visit Belize is the the food. Everything in Belize is grown locally, free of preservatives, so eating in Belize in an entirely different experience. Here is a list of all the things that I crave 11 months out of the year and some new gems that I discovered on my recent visit.

BEST Margarita and Bloody Mary-
TripAdvisor.com superstar Ivan Luna of Palapa Bar makes the best margaritas in the world, hand down! I've traveled north, south, and central Mexico and I have yet to find a margarita quite like Ivan's. Even in Rosarito where Margaritas were invented, they don't measure up.  Ivan squeezes fresh limes into each Margarita to ensure that it has the freshest lime taste possible. Ivan has shared his secret margarita recipe with me countless times but I still have yet to duplicate it. I was never a Bloody Mary person until Ivan converted me, his Bloody May recipe includes: fresh limes, Worcester sauce, Marie Sharps, Season salt, black pepper and V8 juice. It has a distinct acidic spicy taste that can not be found anywhere else on the planet. Ivan's Bloody Marys nursed me through my career as a sales person at Reef Village.

The Famous Ivan

BEST Frozen Drinks-
I spent an entire month patronizing Wayo's Bar. On my last night Trevor mentioned that his forte is mixed frozen drinks. I jumped off my bar stole and headed to four different produce stores in search of fresh mint leaves. I came back with fresh cantaloupe, watermelon, mangoes and mint leaves. Trevor immediately went to work chopping up the fruits in the kitchen. He made me a blended watermelon mojito, a coconut rum smoothie, and a frozen mango daiquiri. They were all amazing just as he had promised. When you go to Wayo's, go bearing fresh fruits.

Trevor of Wayo's Bar.

BEST Belizean Home-style Cooking.
Bernadine Reid is famous for her Belizean home cooking. She can be found next door to Wayo's Beernet and she will cook you a feast anytime, day or night, by simply knocking on her door. I ordered my lunches and dinner's from her daily. Her menu includes: lobster, t-bones, pork chops, fresh fish, jerk chicken and anything thing else you can think of. All of her food is delicious but her cassava pudding is beyond exceptional! I know that I will be craving it until next year, when I make my way back to San Pedro.

Bernadine of Nadine's Kitchen

Bernadine only cooks up the freshest catches

BEST Seafood Tostadas
I've eaten at Waruguma countless times but I never thought to order tostadas because I like to orders foods that are more exotic. I had no idea what I was missing out on. I can't even describe what made this tostada unique because I ingulfed it so quickly. I didn't even get a chance to snap a quick pic of it. I think I recall the shrimp being sauteed in butter, garlic and black pepper, then covered with a layer of mozzarella cheese, but I'm really not too sure. All that I can say is that it was amazing! The coconut cream shrimp is also on the top of my to do list when I'm in San Pedro.

Waruguma's Coconut Creme Shrimp

BEST Chocolate Cake
I'm very particular about chocolate cake. I usually find it to be too sweet, so much so that the sugar overpowers the delicate cocoa. Finally someone agrees with me. The fine San Diegans at the Ambergris Brewing Co, have perfected black forest chocolate cake. Their cake is so moist, fluffy, rich yet not too sweet. Hands down the best around! Even San Diego's renowned Extraordinary Desserts can not compete with this chocolate cake.

A touch of San Diego graces San Pedro's beachfront

BEST Pulled Pork
Cooked for 14 hours, Palapa Bar's pulled pork sandwich is nothing short of perfection. The pork is so tender that chewing is optional, each bite just falls apart. Plus I'm not a huge fan of BBQ sauces because I find them to be overwhelmingly salty and spicy, but not this one, Palapa Bar's sauce has the perfect combination of sweet and spicy without being too pungent. It compliments the perfection of the pork.

Post Pulled Pork Sandwich at Palapa Bar

BEST Teriyaki Burger and Chicken Wings
Cori at Lola's Pub doesn't mess around when it comes to beef. She mixes crushed red peppers and cilantro, among other things into her beef patties. Cori prides her burgers in being the juiciest on the island. I knew that I was in for a treat when I placed my order and I saw Cori walk out the front door and quickly return with a fresh pineapple in hand. In addition, I've had okay wings, good wings and then I had Cori's wings. I've sampled at least a few dozen varieties of wings in my culinary life time but none came close to Cory's Vietnamese chicken wings.  When you go to Lola's Pub, add a dollar to the wall and say that Celest-tay of Barracuda Bikini sent you.

Lola's Pub

Lola's Dollar Wall

Hoarding Elephants

I been living with my elephants for so long that they become house pets. I've become very attached to one particular elephant and was afraid that I would feel awkward with out its presence. Today I had to introduce this one and sadly let move on to more open pastures. I couldn't believe how much space it had been taking up and how much more open the room feels without it. It makes me curious how many other elephants I've been hoarding. So one elephant down, now I just need to get rid of this ghost...

Haunted Beach House

               Today I got the keys to my old studio back. I was thrilled to move back in! I was happy to see that all my little plates were present and not a single one was missing! The view of Chuck and Robbie's Dive Shop was just as quaint and gorgeous as I remembered. Everything was exactly as I had left it two years prior. Even though I had a few errands that I needed to run, I couldn't help but just stand in the studio and let the aroma of the mahogany cabinets flood my senses with vivid memories. The first memory I had was of my ex boyfriend being antsy and claustrophobic, counting the seconds as I packed an overnight bag so he could get the hell out of there. The second was of Chris and Tanya sitting on my couch comforting me when they got word that my cousin John Paul had died. And the third memory was of my brother's laundry laid out everywhere.
                 Lately I've been feeling pretty numb to all my good fortune. Seems like its difficult for me to feel happiness and when I do feel happy it's superficial and short-lived. I've been afraid that I'm quickly transforming into a spoiled bitch. I feel a void where my joy and human qualities once where. I haven't quite been able to place my finger on whats been missing. Sitting on my old couch unsettled me and brought that void feeling to the surface. Once again I felt the hopelessness that I felt during my final months here in this studio. My brother had slept restlessly on that same couch. The entire time that he was staying with me I suspected that he had cancer and that he was always moments away from death. With all his optimism and arrogance he insisted that the local doctors were right and he only had hemorrhoids. I went back to California to continue my education. He passed away six months later of stage four colon cancer at the age of thirty-one. I've been putting off  mourning him ever since. Diving head first into my endeavors has numbed the pain of my loss, but it has also numbed my joy and ability to connect with people.
            Earlier this evening I went for a much needed walk as my friend was napping in the bedroom. He says that when he woke up he heard me in the kitchen area, but when he turned on the lights he realized that I had left. I came here for a vacation but it appears that I'm in store for an old fashioned haunting over the next ten days. Wish me luck!

Holy Cross!

About two days into my stay on the island Colette of Be Kind Belize invited me to speak to the children at The Holy Cross Evangelical school about the importance of kindness. I was both flattered and terrified. Although I've spoken in front of crowds countless times, I've never spoken to a crowd of children. I'm not a kid person and I'm known for liking puppies far more than infants. In addition, since the Holy Cross school services underprivileged children, I was warned that they could be a bit unruly. The night before I was scheduled to give my speech I saw one of the Holy Cross students at the internet cafe. He had a pair of weight lifting gloves next to his monitor. I asked him what the gloves were for and he said "I just go around punching things." This made me feel even more uneasy. The next day I woke up early and prepared for my speech. Colette introduced me to the over two hundred children as "a successful business woman and fashion designer." The kids seemed unimpressed, then she added "and when she has spare time, she deejays." "Ooooooooowwh" responded the children in unison. I was very nervous during my speech because I don't consider myself a very warm person, nor kid person. I talked about how being kind has helped me advance in the pretentious fashion industry. After my speech Mary Gonzales gave an awesome speech about the importance of knowing what you want to be when you grow up, as well as knowing what you don't want to be. One little girl said that she wants to be like Mary when she grows up. The children and I were captivated by Mary's speech. Then the speech competition began, the kids trumped my speech by far, the were so well prepared and delivered. When the winner was announced the room irrupted with cheer, every child was sooo happy for the winner as she received the keys to her brand new bike. I was sent there to inspire the children but I was the one that left being inspired.

Be Kind Belize