Trannyfection

I recently resumed my cardio regiment for three reasons:
1. Pool season has officially began.
2. My boyfriend has been losing three pounds a week and I'll get self conscious if he gets too much hotter than me.
3. I'm auditioning for the Miss Pan American Pageant on Saturday.

I always thought there was something off and odd about pageantry, then one of my favorite authors, Sherry Argov,  illustrated it so simply. Argov points out the similarities between a beauty pageant and an agriculture show. "The farmer walks his cow across stage, the cow does a twirl or two to impress the judges. The winning cow is adorned with roses, a sash and sometimes a trophy." So far I've lost three pounds and I have until Saturday to lose another three, before I'm sized up by Doña Whats Her Name. If Doña deems me fit to compete then I will only have to lose another nine more pounds to be at my target beauty queen weight. With a little luck and campaigning, I will have a sash, roses, and trophy of my own so everyone can know how special I am. I figure that since I'm getting older I might as well take advantage of the experience, as it could become quite comical and blogworthy.  And at the very least, it will keep me on track with my cardio regiment.

Pageants have often been scrutinized for making women look like Post Op Trannys. Now an actual Post Op will compete in the most prestigious pageant in the world, Miss Universe. Oh the irony.